I love this too. In New Zealand it is almost impossible now to even find a post box or a post office to send anything. I joined PostCrossing a few years back, after a teenager I met when I was Camp Mum for a HeartKids ‘TeenBeat’ camp, told me about it. I became an avid poster of postcards and just loved all the ones that came back, from random strangers all over the world. I finally had to stop about 2 years ago when it was literally impossible to find post boxes near me. They have all been removed. I expect within 5 years, postal services will be gone and only couriers will continue. It is indeed a great shame. There is nothing more precious than a written note.
I come from a family who never once uttered the words ‘I love you’ but I adored my Grandfather beyond any I could have whispered or written. But he was getting old and frail and I tried so damned hard to tell him. Alas, those words just stuck in my throat. So one day I wrote him a letter and hid it in the book he was reading. About a month later I came home from visiting him and my Nana and found one from him, that he had slipped into my handbag. Not so long later, that gentle, wonderful man died in my arms, and it wasn’t until his soul had slipped from his body, that I finally found the courage to say those words out loud. But you know what, in some ways I’m glad. Because what if I’d managed to fumble it out badly, prior? We may not have written those letters. And here I sit, 40 years later…. With his letter right here in a notebook in my hands, telling me, in writing, that he loved me too. This letter is, quite simply, my most precious possession.
I had a shoebox filled with four years of my father's handwritten letters to me from my university days. I stored it in the closet of my childhood bedroom at my parent's house where my mother continued to live after Dad passed away. And one day I looked for the shoebox and my mother said she threw it away, thinking it was forgotten paperwork. What I would give to have those letters again.
I downplayed my disappointment, because I knew it was a mistake and she always meant well. I did, however, find some of Dad’s old letters in a few of my university books. I cherish them.
My adult son sent me a beautiful text last Fathers Day (I am a single Mum) which brought me to tears. Telling me I was the best Mum and Dad, all in one, and describing his memories of me kicking the footy at the park, matching the 'real' Dad's and a whole lot more. I wish it had been handwritten. I took a screenshot and have saved it as best I can but......;
You were right given personalities and comfort zone. That letter is something you will look back to often; it’s a true keepsake, and I’m glad you have it!
I hear you, John, and I'm happy you'll continue to send the cards. I made 25 hand- painted Christmas cards and handed them to the people here in Thailand who have welcomed me since my move in April. They don't speak English, and I don't speak Thai yet, but I appreciate them and they understood what I was saying with the card. You and I are definitely dinosaurs, but we are not extinct yet, and people DO like knowing you remember them, whether they reciprocate or not. Happy New Year.
As I celebrated my 79th year on Christmas Day, my mailbox held less than four birthday cards
These I held...as if I could touch these friends. Of course there were texts and emails! Yes, I mailed Christmas cards with low expectations of receiving any In return.
I seldom text nor am I on social media. I handwrite my daily journals.
I AM NO BETTER THAN ANYONE...YET I DO NOT CHOOSE CUT THE THREAD.
Linka- thank you, and what an important statement you shared: "I am no better than anyone." Yes. We don't send cards to telegraph how good we are, we send cards to telegraph how much we still care about our family, friends, past and present.
Absolutely spot on. We still send cards out. I still maintain a healthy correspondence by mail with three friends, including the woman who was my freshman college roommate (September 1974 when we met). We have been corresponding by snail mail all these many years. She has kept all of my correspondence and I have kept all of hers. Our spouses know that when the first of us dies, they are to ship the cache of letters/cards/postcards to the other.
John, I think you hit a raw nerve. Many discount the true value of handwritten notes, cards & letters. We have enforced a disposable society and dismissing each other (on several levels) has become the norm. Your masterful narrative captures the essence of a narcissistic culture influencing the majority to fulfill their needs. I appreciate your depth of awareness (especially the picture of the Italian street musician) reminding us of what is really important in this life and your creative approach to writing with a purpose.
I do this too. It’s one of the fond memories of childhood, sitting at the dining room table, signing, addressing, and stamping Christmas/Holiday cards. It’s one of the real joys of the season for me, even though fewer and fewer are reciprocated. My wife keeps telling me I should stop, it’s a bother, no one cares any more. But I love the cards I do get, and look forward to opening each one. Digital media is mostly a way to distance. Post a couple of pictures on Facebook instead of sending a card, text instead of call. Connection requires real interaction, something fewer people seem to care about these days.
I sent out 39 holiday cards this season and got 9 in return. Ah well. I enjoy the experience and will continue sending them. Too bad we're losing this big part of the holiday season, but I guess that's "progress".
I’m 77 years old. I used to send dozens of cards to friends/relatives at Christmas. Year by year the number began to decline as folks died or just didn’t bother sending cards back. I noticed what cards I did receive always were sent after they received mine. Finally, I saw the futility of trying to stay in touch with people who no longer cared to be bother. And like you I felt that email cards were just a step away from eventually dismissing me altogether. I am now down to 4 cards, soon to be 3 as older folk pass on and then 2 and one…and then…
The question I ask myself is: "How will I be remembered?" Being authentic and true to self includes doing what no else cares to do. Hopefully, we can make a difference when indifference seems so prevalent. You may not know how many you have touched by your kind gesture of a card and personal message. We are never alone when one sends their written note of friendship & remembrance. You are rare gift to all who know you!
Thanks, Richard. They say legacy is a futile pursuit. That we'll be forgotten in a generation or two. But that's not why I send the cards. I simply want to convey my affection and /or good wishes. Because I know life is hard, and small gestures can revive the lost and lonely and melancholy. And yes, authenticity matters. Thanks for reading.
Oh my this really struck me. I usually send out a brief holiday letter- which usually goes out USPS after the holidays.
For the last several years (since Covid) we’ve been spending the holidays overseas with family there. Getting ready to go and our hosting a large family thanksgiving consumes so much of my pre- Christmas time I usually send it after our trip.
I was considering not doing it this year (I’m 78 and just suddenly feeling my age).
Thanks, Bill. I know not everyone can send cards. For some age, expense, or infirmity make it too hard. Thus, phone calls might be the solution. But for those of us who can, I view the sending out of cards like little gifts of Christmas and holiday love.
So many of your essays speak to me, but this one in particular is right on the nose. It describes my experience and feelings perfectly! Thank you for sharing wonderful writing.
John you just made me rethink this year’s decision to do just that - not send cards.
It seems as if every year I was receiving less and less cards even after continuing to send mine.
I too missed the wonderful connection, things just seemed to be changing, but why?
I have always enjoyed listening to the nostalgic Carols while writing special messages about my year to longtime friends. It was tradition.
Last Christmas I did write and sent personalized cards. I wanted to let friends and distant family know my husband had recently passed. Still fewer cards came, but those that did come warmed my heart.
You have definitely stirred my thoughts. Next year I’ll be a human again. Cards and personalized notes will be sent.
Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts. You always say something I need to hear.
Sorry to read of your husband's passing. If you decide to continue writing holiday cards, pen one to your late husband. Tell him what you're up to. How you miss him. Seal it with a kiss. Write his name on the envelope. No address or return address. Release it and somehow it will find his spirit.
It costs more these days to send cards. I curated the list. I actually make greeting cards now for a fun craft. People don't send cards as much as they used to, but I do try to make cards that are special, made with love, and they are different from what is mass produced.
I receive pretty much what I send out...well curated lists work that way. It is so nice to receive something nice in the mail. I hope to send more handmade cards this year.
It's a wonderful way of reaching out even when it's not Christmas.
I live in fear that it will be so expensive to send cards in the future I may not be able to do it. How sad that this form of communication is slipping away.
Carla- Yes, postage is more expensive. Curating your list makes sense. And how special that you make your own cards. I have one relative who does that and I always look forward to her artful designs.
I loved this piece, John. Tho they may not arrive until April Fools, you have given me cause to personalize & send the long-languishing, addressed, enveloped & stamped seasonal cards I prepared
I love this too. In New Zealand it is almost impossible now to even find a post box or a post office to send anything. I joined PostCrossing a few years back, after a teenager I met when I was Camp Mum for a HeartKids ‘TeenBeat’ camp, told me about it. I became an avid poster of postcards and just loved all the ones that came back, from random strangers all over the world. I finally had to stop about 2 years ago when it was literally impossible to find post boxes near me. They have all been removed. I expect within 5 years, postal services will be gone and only couriers will continue. It is indeed a great shame. There is nothing more precious than a written note.
I come from a family who never once uttered the words ‘I love you’ but I adored my Grandfather beyond any I could have whispered or written. But he was getting old and frail and I tried so damned hard to tell him. Alas, those words just stuck in my throat. So one day I wrote him a letter and hid it in the book he was reading. About a month later I came home from visiting him and my Nana and found one from him, that he had slipped into my handbag. Not so long later, that gentle, wonderful man died in my arms, and it wasn’t until his soul had slipped from his body, that I finally found the courage to say those words out loud. But you know what, in some ways I’m glad. Because what if I’d managed to fumble it out badly, prior? We may not have written those letters. And here I sit, 40 years later…. With his letter right here in a notebook in my hands, telling me, in writing, that he loved me too. This letter is, quite simply, my most precious possession.
I had a shoebox filled with four years of my father's handwritten letters to me from my university days. I stored it in the closet of my childhood bedroom at my parent's house where my mother continued to live after Dad passed away. And one day I looked for the shoebox and my mother said she threw it away, thinking it was forgotten paperwork. What I would give to have those letters again.
Ohhhhh. Yes, I can imagine the longing. My next thought was 'your poor Mum', I can also imagine that she felt absolutely terrible about that 'mix-up'.
I downplayed my disappointment, because I knew it was a mistake and she always meant well. I did, however, find some of Dad’s old letters in a few of my university books. I cherish them.
Heartbreaking! So sorry.
I read last week that a country had completely dismissed mail. Was it Sweden? I don't remember, I think it was Scandinavia though.
Denmark: they will continue to deliver packages, but not"letters".
I love that you do this.
My adult son sent me a beautiful text last Fathers Day (I am a single Mum) which brought me to tears. Telling me I was the best Mum and Dad, all in one, and describing his memories of me kicking the footy at the park, matching the 'real' Dad's and a whole lot more. I wish it had been handwritten. I took a screenshot and have saved it as best I can but......;
Any time a loved one sends a thoughtful text, email, message, or phone call, it's a gift. It's just that a letter you can hold in your hands.
You were right given personalities and comfort zone. That letter is something you will look back to often; it’s a true keepsake, and I’m glad you have it!
I hear you, John, and I'm happy you'll continue to send the cards. I made 25 hand- painted Christmas cards and handed them to the people here in Thailand who have welcomed me since my move in April. They don't speak English, and I don't speak Thai yet, but I appreciate them and they understood what I was saying with the card. You and I are definitely dinosaurs, but we are not extinct yet, and people DO like knowing you remember them, whether they reciprocate or not. Happy New Year.
Dinosaurs with fountain pens and cards! Thanks, Linda.
It’s great to know I’m not the only one! 😁
HEART FELT THANKS!
As I celebrated my 79th year on Christmas Day, my mailbox held less than four birthday cards
These I held...as if I could touch these friends. Of course there were texts and emails! Yes, I mailed Christmas cards with low expectations of receiving any In return.
I seldom text nor am I on social media. I handwrite my daily journals.
I AM NO BETTER THAN ANYONE...YET I DO NOT CHOOSE CUT THE THREAD.
WISH WISH WISH I COULD MAIL YOU A PERSONAL NOTE.
"Peace Is Every Step" in our fractured world...
PLEASE CONTINUE YOUR HEARTFELT EXQUISITE WORDS!
Linka- thank you, and what an important statement you shared: "I am no better than anyone." Yes. We don't send cards to telegraph how good we are, we send cards to telegraph how much we still care about our family, friends, past and present.
Absolutely spot on. We still send cards out. I still maintain a healthy correspondence by mail with three friends, including the woman who was my freshman college roommate (September 1974 when we met). We have been corresponding by snail mail all these many years. She has kept all of my correspondence and I have kept all of hers. Our spouses know that when the first of us dies, they are to ship the cache of letters/cards/postcards to the other.
What a lovely thing, April, that the two of you still correspond and your spouses know to one day gift the survivor the old letters.
John, I think you hit a raw nerve. Many discount the true value of handwritten notes, cards & letters. We have enforced a disposable society and dismissing each other (on several levels) has become the norm. Your masterful narrative captures the essence of a narcissistic culture influencing the majority to fulfill their needs. I appreciate your depth of awareness (especially the picture of the Italian street musician) reminding us of what is really important in this life and your creative approach to writing with a purpose.
Best Wishes to you and your family this New Year!
Thanks, Richard. Yes, how sad if we allow ourselves to dispose of old friends and thoughtful communication.
I do this too. It’s one of the fond memories of childhood, sitting at the dining room table, signing, addressing, and stamping Christmas/Holiday cards. It’s one of the real joys of the season for me, even though fewer and fewer are reciprocated. My wife keeps telling me I should stop, it’s a bother, no one cares any more. But I love the cards I do get, and look forward to opening each one. Digital media is mostly a way to distance. Post a couple of pictures on Facebook instead of sending a card, text instead of call. Connection requires real interaction, something fewer people seem to care about these days.
I think we do it as much for ourselves as the recipients. Thanks, Michael.
I sent out 39 holiday cards this season and got 9 in return. Ah well. I enjoy the experience and will continue sending them. Too bad we're losing this big part of the holiday season, but I guess that's "progress".
Yes, time marches on and sometimes the old ways melt away. But I'm going to hold on a bit longer. Thanks for reading, Nancy.
I’m 77 years old. I used to send dozens of cards to friends/relatives at Christmas. Year by year the number began to decline as folks died or just didn’t bother sending cards back. I noticed what cards I did receive always were sent after they received mine. Finally, I saw the futility of trying to stay in touch with people who no longer cared to be bother. And like you I felt that email cards were just a step away from eventually dismissing me altogether. I am now down to 4 cards, soon to be 3 as older folk pass on and then 2 and one…and then…
The question I ask myself is: "How will I be remembered?" Being authentic and true to self includes doing what no else cares to do. Hopefully, we can make a difference when indifference seems so prevalent. You may not know how many you have touched by your kind gesture of a card and personal message. We are never alone when one sends their written note of friendship & remembrance. You are rare gift to all who know you!
Thanks, Richard. They say legacy is a futile pursuit. That we'll be forgotten in a generation or two. But that's not why I send the cards. I simply want to convey my affection and /or good wishes. Because I know life is hard, and small gestures can revive the lost and lonely and melancholy. And yes, authenticity matters. Thanks for reading.
I hear you, Christine. Guess I just don't want to say goodbye to the things that brought me joy.
I was thinking of no longer sending Christmas cards. Now I think I will send them and include a written note.
If you're able to, Raymond, the cards might brighten folks' holiday season.
Happy New year John, thank you so much for your writing. Each weekly mail; your article touches a chord in my “aging”heart!
You're welcome, James. This aging heart tries his best to share essays and stories that uplift.
Oh my this really struck me. I usually send out a brief holiday letter- which usually goes out USPS after the holidays.
For the last several years (since Covid) we’ve been spending the holidays overseas with family there. Getting ready to go and our hosting a large family thanksgiving consumes so much of my pre- Christmas time I usually send it after our trip.
I was considering not doing it this year (I’m 78 and just suddenly feeling my age).
But I now plan to send it.
Thanks
Thanks, Bill. I know not everyone can send cards. For some age, expense, or infirmity make it too hard. Thus, phone calls might be the solution. But for those of us who can, I view the sending out of cards like little gifts of Christmas and holiday love.
So many of your essays speak to me, but this one in particular is right on the nose. It describes my experience and feelings perfectly! Thank you for sharing wonderful writing.
You're welcome, Claire. Thanks for reading.
John you just made me rethink this year’s decision to do just that - not send cards.
It seems as if every year I was receiving less and less cards even after continuing to send mine.
I too missed the wonderful connection, things just seemed to be changing, but why?
I have always enjoyed listening to the nostalgic Carols while writing special messages about my year to longtime friends. It was tradition.
Last Christmas I did write and sent personalized cards. I wanted to let friends and distant family know my husband had recently passed. Still fewer cards came, but those that did come warmed my heart.
You have definitely stirred my thoughts. Next year I’ll be a human again. Cards and personalized notes will be sent.
Thank you for sharing your deepest thoughts. You always say something I need to hear.
Sorry to read of your husband's passing. If you decide to continue writing holiday cards, pen one to your late husband. Tell him what you're up to. How you miss him. Seal it with a kiss. Write his name on the envelope. No address or return address. Release it and somehow it will find his spirit.
It costs more these days to send cards. I curated the list. I actually make greeting cards now for a fun craft. People don't send cards as much as they used to, but I do try to make cards that are special, made with love, and they are different from what is mass produced.
I receive pretty much what I send out...well curated lists work that way. It is so nice to receive something nice in the mail. I hope to send more handmade cards this year.
It's a wonderful way of reaching out even when it's not Christmas.
I live in fear that it will be so expensive to send cards in the future I may not be able to do it. How sad that this form of communication is slipping away.
Carla- Yes, postage is more expensive. Curating your list makes sense. And how special that you make your own cards. I have one relative who does that and I always look forward to her artful designs.
I loved this piece, John. Tho they may not arrive until April Fools, you have given me cause to personalize & send the long-languishing, addressed, enveloped & stamped seasonal cards I prepared
2 Decembers ago.
Imagine the surprise of receiving a Christmas card in April. Thanks Rebecca.