So beautiful once again and so very true. I have reconnected with a couple of high school friends, enjoy my long time friends and keeping in touch is the best.
I just took the leap and have decided to join an art group planning on going to Tuscany this June, to enjoy painting in the beautiful countryside of Tuscany. I’m totally excited and perhaps make a few new friends along the way.
I wii be 86 and love growing older and grateful to be enjoying every day.
Once again John you are truly an inspiration to all of us.
I am grateful I found your posts. I so appreciate your ability to connect moments in different times and settings that perfectly model and live your theme. And your themes are the stuff of a fulfilling, grateful life. Blessings.
You are so right, John. I was having a rough time with retirement, mostly with the loneliness. Then after read for at least the dozenth time "Join a church" I rejoined a Quaker meeting in Boston I had been a member of years ago when I was in school. I have re-found a wonderful community and it has completely changed my life.
Retirement can take some adjustment. Many fantasize about sleeping in, golf, travel, and rediscovered hobbies. But sometimes loneliness and a sense of purposeless or irrelevancy creep in. Thus, companionship matters, and purpose. Church can provide this as you’ve found, Virginia. Others find it in volunteering. The key is to find the thing that keeps you engaged and involved in some way.
This resonates. I just spent ten days with a friend I've known since we were five years old. First time is decades that we spend more than a few hours together. It was an amazing experience.
It’s unfortunate how our old friends sometimes drift away. I looked up a childhood buddy last time I was in California and invited him to lunch. So great to reconnect. Glad you were able to as well, Denise.
For most of my adult life, I had no real friends. They were all "deal" friends as Prof. Arthur Brooks puts it. When I retired and move to Palm Springs, I found my "tribe" and in just 2 1/2 years I have developed friends so deep, I never feel alone. It takes time, quiet, conversations, and reaching out. The coffees and meals and events you describe capture moments in my weeks which make it all worthwhile. But I could never have articulated it as beautifully as you! Thank you!
I express gratitude daily. It changes one's body chemistry physically and psychologically. Such a wonderful, accessible opportunity available any time and anywhere. I give gratitude for your sharing and expression.
Gratitude does much to defeat the demons of negativity and resentment and bitterness. Gratitude reminds us to see the half-full side of the glass. Gratitude heals. Kudos to you, Lori, for your daily gratitude.
John, as usual, I personally connect with your offerings! Thank You!
Strangers are Sanctuaries! I never meet a stranger. Family members--
"You talk to everyone..." Yes, I do.
About two years ago, standing in front of a finger nail polish display, I turned to a stranger, a young woman: "What's the best finger nail polish remover?" (Silly??)
"Well...I used to take my mom for a manicure...she's passed..." she explained with tears.
We chatted. We went on our way.
Two weeks later at a local library, our eyes connected. She, with her daughter, and I, with my
grand daughter, sat together and shared our love of flowers. Our friendship continued.
With her mom's diary, she shared of the family's journey from Viet Nam. This year she moved out of state. Her husband, her child, and she now live closer to her family members.
We continue to stay connected. Recently, she shared, "With you I can easily speak of my
What a wonderful connection you made, Linka. My wife calls these conversations with strangers "Greyhound bus conversations." Or on a plane. You site next to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. And because there is no history, no expectations, no gossip, you can be candid and honest. That's where the magic happens. Thanks for reading.
Your post hit home! Last month we made a surprising connection with several young couples who have moved into our foothills neighborhood. They delivered Christmas cookies and invited us to a Christmas party. In all the 47 years we've lived here there was never a Christmas like this one. I don't know why the neighbors never were as friendly, but I'm going to try and include them as much as possible. I just learned, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!
Sometimes that’s all it takes, Verna. Ringing a doorbell. Introducing yourself. Dropping off cookies. Radiating goodwill, which begets goodwill. Thanks for reading.
As usual, your offerings connect with my life. My family states: "You speak to everyone.."
Correct. Two years ago, as I stood "checking out" nail polish removers, I turned to a young woman standing behind me. "Could you suggest an excellent nail polish remover...(SILLY ?)
"Huh...well, I used to take my Mom for manicures..." She stood with tearful eyes while she explained about her mom's recent passing. We chatted a few minutes. Each departed. Then, in a local library a week later, our eyes connected. Herdaughter and my grand daughter immediately connected. During the following months, she shared stories of her family's escape from Viet Nam. Months later she, her husband and daughter moved out of state. We stay connected. Although her move placed her closer to all immediate family members, she recently shared. "Only with you can I share my feelings of missing my Mom."
Your words are wise, stunning and very heartfelt. Friendships Are Sanctuaries. I’ve decided that to get myself through this life, I can view any space I find myself in as a chance to create a sanctuary if one doesn’t exist already. Everyone does just want to belong, everyone wants to be helped, comforted, and cared about wherever they find themselves. It’s very Beautiful to read that you and your wife actively participate in maintaining connections & treasuring creating new ones. Namaste John.
Marilyn, I love what you wrote: "Everyone does just want to belong, everyone wants to be helped, comforted, and cared about wherever they find themselves." Imagine how this view could change the world. Thanks for reading.
Beautiful story, John. Thanks for sharing it. Love your B&W photos. Your travels obviously created some great memories and reinforced some notions like the importance of friendship and companionship. I've been fortunate to have made some great friends. I'm still in touch with a few high school friends, but only one from my college days (guess I was too busy studying - my best friend from those days passed away many years ago). As you so rightly point out, meeting with them and sharing our joys and sorrows fills a basic need in our hearts.
Thanks, Bob. Turns out, most of my close friends came from my university days and not high school. Back in high school I had a girlfriend and spent all my time with her. Thanks for your comment.
Yeah great writing John. Thanks. I don’t think most men are great at keeping friends once the common interest stops or changes. Work, sport, clubs, all help create friendships, through time spent together, but once that shared time stops then mostly so do the friendships. Maybe friendship isn’t the right word? Circumstances change and we move on. All valuable and worthwhile things take effort, so maybe that’s the key, we’ve just got to invest more time and effort to make and keep friends, especially as we get older?
Good point, Alan. Sometimes men form superficial friendships around sports, drinking, etc. So when life changes, those friends melt away. I think the trick is to truly get to know someone and make the effort. When we do that, the rewards for both are tremendous and can last a lifetime. Thanks for your comment.
So beautiful once again and so very true. I have reconnected with a couple of high school friends, enjoy my long time friends and keeping in touch is the best.
I just took the leap and have decided to join an art group planning on going to Tuscany this June, to enjoy painting in the beautiful countryside of Tuscany. I’m totally excited and perhaps make a few new friends along the way.
I wii be 86 and love growing older and grateful to be enjoying every day.
Once again John you are truly an inspiration to all of us.
Blessings my friend
Grace
Wow, an art trip to Italy, how wonderful. Enjoy every moment.
Thanks John. Great expectations with a few reservations
I am grateful I found your posts. I so appreciate your ability to connect moments in different times and settings that perfectly model and live your theme. And your themes are the stuff of a fulfilling, grateful life. Blessings.
Thank you, Brucebaugh, glad you enjoy the essays.
You are so right, John. I was having a rough time with retirement, mostly with the loneliness. Then after read for at least the dozenth time "Join a church" I rejoined a Quaker meeting in Boston I had been a member of years ago when I was in school. I have re-found a wonderful community and it has completely changed my life.
Retirement can take some adjustment. Many fantasize about sleeping in, golf, travel, and rediscovered hobbies. But sometimes loneliness and a sense of purposeless or irrelevancy creep in. Thus, companionship matters, and purpose. Church can provide this as you’ve found, Virginia. Others find it in volunteering. The key is to find the thing that keeps you engaged and involved in some way.
This resonates. I just spent ten days with a friend I've known since we were five years old. First time is decades that we spend more than a few hours together. It was an amazing experience.
It’s unfortunate how our old friends sometimes drift away. I looked up a childhood buddy last time I was in California and invited him to lunch. So great to reconnect. Glad you were able to as well, Denise.
Outstanding, as usual, John. You are one of the world’s great storytellers. Tom
Thanks so much, Tom.
For most of my adult life, I had no real friends. They were all "deal" friends as Prof. Arthur Brooks puts it. When I retired and move to Palm Springs, I found my "tribe" and in just 2 1/2 years I have developed friends so deep, I never feel alone. It takes time, quiet, conversations, and reaching out. The coffees and meals and events you describe capture moments in my weeks which make it all worthwhile. But I could never have articulated it as beautifully as you! Thank you!
That’s wonderful, J. S. Glad you found your tribe.
I express gratitude daily. It changes one's body chemistry physically and psychologically. Such a wonderful, accessible opportunity available any time and anywhere. I give gratitude for your sharing and expression.
Gratitude does much to defeat the demons of negativity and resentment and bitterness. Gratitude reminds us to see the half-full side of the glass. Gratitude heals. Kudos to you, Lori, for your daily gratitude.
We're all on the same spinning blue ball together, we may as well make the best of it.
Amen, Eric.
John, as usual, I personally connect with your offerings! Thank You!
Strangers are Sanctuaries! I never meet a stranger. Family members--
"You talk to everyone..." Yes, I do.
About two years ago, standing in front of a finger nail polish display, I turned to a stranger, a young woman: "What's the best finger nail polish remover?" (Silly??)
"Well...I used to take my mom for a manicure...she's passed..." she explained with tears.
We chatted. We went on our way.
Two weeks later at a local library, our eyes connected. She, with her daughter, and I, with my
grand daughter, sat together and shared our love of flowers. Our friendship continued.
With her mom's diary, she shared of the family's journey from Viet Nam. This year she moved out of state. Her husband, her child, and she now live closer to her family members.
We continue to stay connected. Recently, she shared, "With you I can easily speak of my
missing my mom...with your"
Strangers Are and Can Remain Sanctuaries
What a wonderful connection you made, Linka. My wife calls these conversations with strangers "Greyhound bus conversations." Or on a plane. You site next to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation. And because there is no history, no expectations, no gossip, you can be candid and honest. That's where the magic happens. Thanks for reading.
Thank you John,
Your post hit home! Last month we made a surprising connection with several young couples who have moved into our foothills neighborhood. They delivered Christmas cookies and invited us to a Christmas party. In all the 47 years we've lived here there was never a Christmas like this one. I don't know why the neighbors never were as friendly, but I'm going to try and include them as much as possible. I just learned, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!
Sometimes that’s all it takes, Verna. Ringing a doorbell. Introducing yourself. Dropping off cookies. Radiating goodwill, which begets goodwill. Thanks for reading.
As usual profound and beautiful!
Thanks Gayle.
This is lovely. Thanks for sharing these memories.
You’re welcome, Niki. Thanks for reading.
John,
As usual, your offerings connect with my life. My family states: "You speak to everyone.."
Correct. Two years ago, as I stood "checking out" nail polish removers, I turned to a young woman standing behind me. "Could you suggest an excellent nail polish remover...(SILLY ?)
"Huh...well, I used to take my Mom for manicures..." She stood with tearful eyes while she explained about her mom's recent passing. We chatted a few minutes. Each departed. Then, in a local library a week later, our eyes connected. Herdaughter and my grand daughter immediately connected. During the following months, she shared stories of her family's escape from Viet Nam. Months later she, her husband and daughter moved out of state. We stay connected. Although her move placed her closer to all immediate family members, she recently shared. "Only with you can I share my feelings of missing my Mom."
Yes, Strangers Often Become Sanctuaries
Your words are wise, stunning and very heartfelt. Friendships Are Sanctuaries. I’ve decided that to get myself through this life, I can view any space I find myself in as a chance to create a sanctuary if one doesn’t exist already. Everyone does just want to belong, everyone wants to be helped, comforted, and cared about wherever they find themselves. It’s very Beautiful to read that you and your wife actively participate in maintaining connections & treasuring creating new ones. Namaste John.
Marilyn, I love what you wrote: "Everyone does just want to belong, everyone wants to be helped, comforted, and cared about wherever they find themselves." Imagine how this view could change the world. Thanks for reading.
Beautiful story, John. Thanks for sharing it. Love your B&W photos. Your travels obviously created some great memories and reinforced some notions like the importance of friendship and companionship. I've been fortunate to have made some great friends. I'm still in touch with a few high school friends, but only one from my college days (guess I was too busy studying - my best friend from those days passed away many years ago). As you so rightly point out, meeting with them and sharing our joys and sorrows fills a basic need in our hearts.
Thanks, Bob. Turns out, most of my close friends came from my university days and not high school. Back in high school I had a girlfriend and spent all my time with her. Thanks for your comment.
Yeah great writing John. Thanks. I don’t think most men are great at keeping friends once the common interest stops or changes. Work, sport, clubs, all help create friendships, through time spent together, but once that shared time stops then mostly so do the friendships. Maybe friendship isn’t the right word? Circumstances change and we move on. All valuable and worthwhile things take effort, so maybe that’s the key, we’ve just got to invest more time and effort to make and keep friends, especially as we get older?
Good point, Alan. Sometimes men form superficial friendships around sports, drinking, etc. So when life changes, those friends melt away. I think the trick is to truly get to know someone and make the effort. When we do that, the rewards for both are tremendous and can last a lifetime. Thanks for your comment.